Eat drums!

No, no, no. Not “eat” drums.

Huh??

It’s “beat” drums. “Beat” drums. Remember?

Oohh…..Beat drums! Beat drums!

Good boy. Sit.

In the summer of 2005, Lyle asked Chris to join what would become Hellenback as the band’s timekeeper. Chris was happy to join, even though he didn’t have a stopwatch. It’s a good thing drummers only have to count to 4…

At nearly six-and-a-half feet tall and 280 pounds, Chris is truly the gorilla in the corner of the room, or stage in his case. An affable and even-tempered brute once compared to a wookie by his friends, he is not considered dangerous despite the wildman lurking below the surface, inherent in all drummers.

They say music soothes the savage beast, and Chris is best controlled by heavy doses of classic guitar-god rock (AC/DC, Van Halen, Led Zeppelin, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, etc.), mad skillz drumming (like Rush, Who, Dream Theater, etc.), and most anything from the 1980s. Chris can also be mesmerized by Discovery Channel, History Channel, and the NFL, especially Redskins games.

Though he doesn’t usually bite, it is unwise to put your hands or feet inside his drum cage when the band is playing. Audiences often ask us what the drum shield is for. We usually claim it has to do with sound balance or rabies prevention. It is actually a NIOSH-certified portable stage gorilla containment system. How it works is complicated, but we’re just glad it works!

Tell me about the puppies…

Not now, maybe later after the gig.